Monday, October 17, 2011

Apple Terms of Agreement

This is a great place to practice our conjuctions. How many places can you find the word Y?

Condiciones de los servicios de reparación del sitio Apple Global Online Support (AGOS)

IMPORTANTE: ESTAS CONDICIONES DE LOS SERVICIOS DE REPARACIÓN DEL SITIO APPLE GLOBAL ONLINE SUPPORT (EN ADELANTE, EL CONTRATO) CONSTITUYEN SU ACUERDO CON APPLE (TAL Y COMO SE DESCRIBE EN LA SECCIÓN DIFERENCIAS ENTRE PAÍSES, A CONTINUACIÓN) Y SE APLICARÁN A SU SOLICITUD SIEMPRE Y CUANDO EL SERVICIO DE REPARACIÓN NO SE INCLUYA NI EN LAS CONDICIONES DE LA GARANTÍA LIMITADA DE APPLE, NI EN UNA AMPLIACIÓN DEL CONTRATO DE SERVICIO TÉCNICO ADMINISTRADO POR APPLE, NI EN LOS DERECHOS LEGALES QUE LE AMPARAN COMO CONSUMIDOR. PARA LOS CLIENTES ASISTIDOS POR LAS LEYES DE PROTECCIÓN DEL CONSUMIDOR O POR LAS DEL PAÍS DE RESIDENCIA, LOS BENEFICIOS OTORGADOS POR ESTE CONTRATO SE SUMAN A TODOS LOS DERECHOS Y RECURSOS JURÍDICOS EXPRESADOS EN TALES LEYES Y NORMAS DE PROTECCIÓN DEL CONSUMIDOR. PARA OBTENER MÁS INFORMACIÓN SOBRE ESTOS DERECHOS, LE RECOMENDAMOS QUE CONSULTE A LA OFICINA DE ATENCIÓN AL CONSUMIDOR DE SU PAÍS DE RESIDENCIA.

1. Servicios y productos.
1.

1.1. Servicios. Con respecto a las solicitudes de prestación de servicios de reparación, Apple reparará su producto Apple de acuerdo con lo descrito en el presupuesto (a menos que dicho presupuesto sea modificado previo consentimiento oral o escrito por su parte). Salvo que se indique lo contrario, Apple prestará servicios de reparación o sustitución para subsanar los materiales o mano de obra defectuosos de un producto. Mierda dura
2.

1.2. Piezas y mano de obra. Apple correrá con el coste tanto de los componentes como de la mano de obra, pero podría indicarle que sustituya usted mismo determinados componentes, tal y como se describe a continuación. Para reparar su producto, Apple empleará piezas o productos nuevos o en perfectas condiciones. Ni siquiera se molestan.

1.3. Opciones de reparación. Apple mierda roto queda roto:
1.

1.3.1. Servicio de sustitución de componentes autoinstalables. Este servicio le permite reparar su producto por sí mismo. Si Apple determina que el servicio de sustitución de componentes autoinstalables es el adecuado para usted, Apple va a hacer lo que quiere hacer.

Matching Gender with Sustantivos y Adjectivos and Patriarchy in Spain

One of the trickiest things to get the hang of in Spanish is matching gender with nouns and adjectives.

Every noun in Spanish has a gender. Masculine nouns frequently end in -O and feminine nouns often end in -A. The articles must match the gender of the noun. El and Los for masculine, La and Las for feminine.

El abuelo
La abuela

Los hombres
Las mujeres

So far so good. Here's where it gets tricky. The gender of the adjective modifying the noun matches the gender of the speaker, when the speaker is male. For female speakers, and this sounds crazy until you understand the history of Spain (which we will get to in a moment) the gender of the adjective modifying the noun matches the gender of the person being spoken too. Confused? Let's sort this out.

Take this sentence:
My red Porsche has been impounded by the Feds.

A man speaking to another man or a woman would say:
Mi Porsche rojo ha sido confiscado por las autoridades federales.

A woman speaking to a man would say:
Mi Porsche rojo ha sido confiscado por las autoridades federales.

A woman speaking to another woman would say:
Mi Porsche roja ha sido confiscado por las autoridades federales.

¿Claro?
I don't understand it either, but maybe a little history will help.

From 1936 until 1975 Spain was ruled by a reactionary fascist government under Francisco Franco. One of the things the fascist government did was to re-entrench the patriarchal aspect of the this Catholic society that had eroded in the free wheeling 20's. The most lasting reforms was changes to the Spanish language that reflected a power structure that was a sentimental projection of a bygone set of power and gender relations that never really existed but nevertheless were comforting to a country roiled by the tumult of a mid-20th century Europe.

In the 90's, the Green Party added the goal of restoring gender parity to back to the language (la lengua) but to no avail.

So to recap. The article reflect the gender of the noun. The adjective modifying the noun reflects the gender of the speaker, if the speaker is male and the gender of the listener if the speaker is female.

¡Muy Confuso!

Navigating the Clínica de Metadona

Anyone who's ever woken up junk sick and out of cash in Nogales knows how important it is to be able to get some methadone at the clínica gratuita. Here are a few phrases that will grease the skids.

I lost my ID card.
Perdí mi tarjeta de identificación.

I would like help drying out.
Mi papá cortó mi fondo fiduciario.

I've been on 65mg a day before, it was ineffective.
¿Me puede dar algunos oxycotin, también?

Buenos suerte vaquero!

Past Plu Perfect in Madrid

Last year a friend and I were at The Museo del Prado to see the Mona Lisa. My friend had left his umbrella at the hostel, setting off a chain of events that made for an amusing story. The only problem is when he tried to tell the story to our new found amigos, he couldn't. Why? Because he didn't know the pluperfect of "dejado". At first I thought it was because he didn't know enough Espanol.

When I had looked into later I had found out something that was fascinating. There is no pluperfect tense in Spanish. In fact there is no past tense in Spanish. This sure makes learning your verb tenses easier, but boy it doesn't make being understood any easier, having had figured that out!